Food Bully's Calorie Counter Notebook

Do you get off on telling others what to eat? Have you ever gone to jail for assaulting someone in a fur coat? Do you have a nervous breakdown when one of your victims advises you to “eat a sandwich”? If so, then you may be calorically-deprived enough to need our Food Bully's Calorie Counter. This organisational tool will help you keep track of what everyone else on the planet is putting into their mouths, and enable you to more effectively deprive toddlers of their favourite kids' cereals. An essential organisational tool for boorish, over-opinionated dilettantes just like you, and it's biodegradable with no animal sweat excreted in the manufacturing process! You're socially obligated to use this product and no other, or you know what the Foodie Mafia is capable of...