Stumptimus Prime T-Shirt

How Stumptimus Prime Was Born Honestly, this started as a dumb joke. I was watching Transformers on a Saturday and thought, “What if Portland had its own?” The first sketch was ridiculous. Picture a robot with a coffee cup head, a pine tree for an arm, Mount Hood stamped on its chest, and a bridge cable tied around its neck like a thrift-store scarf. Basically a hipster robot that ran on cold brew and passive-aggressive bike lane energy. So I toned it down. Now he’s got a chainsaw, a forest vibe, and just enough menace to enforce “Keep Portland Weird” like it’s city law. And that’s how Stumptimus Prime was born — the only Transformer that smells faintly of IPA and insists on composting your enemies.