Triple Threat Magnet

In the Golden Days of funding, there were theorists and there were experimentalists. (Theorists got in around noon, spent most of the day with their feet up on the desk, and drank a lot. Experimentalists pulled all-nighters, made loud noises in the basement, and drank a lot.) But in these times of economic uncertainty, you can't afford to get pigeonholed on your grant application: multi-disciplinary argle bargle is all the rage. One must be flexible as a pubescent Ukrainian gymnast, able to change spots and swap hats at a moment's notice to encourage whatever buzzword crawled up the dean's butt this week. Now you can advertise your chimeric character with a LabKitty Triple Threat product! Theorist. Experimentalist. Dancer. Not only will this help you thrive in the demented nightmare academics has become, but the babes will go wild. Remember: jazz hands!