You're Too Close T-shirt

The text on the shirt reads: A Crash Course in American Proxemics (Personal Space) If you can read this text, you are standing too close to me.     The reason I consider you to be too close to me while you don't feel you are arises from the fact that different cultures define personal space differently. Generally, Western cultures expect more space between individuals than Eastern cultures do, although there are exceptions, such as Latino cultures. And it is generally accepted that Americans who can trace their roots back to Europe expect the most personal space of any cultural group.     One generally accepted reason that Euramericans expect more personal space is that they still have the mindset of settlers living in the wild, wild West, where the antelope and buffalo roam, even though those wide-open conditions have not existed for over a century. Another generally accepted reason for Euramericans expecting more personal space is that they believe the economic advantage of the U.S. endows them with an elevated status which entitles them to more space.     Both reasons, however, are incorrect. Generally, what determines how Euramericans calculate personal space is the concept of EQUALITY, as expressed in “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all [people] are created equal.” I want no more personal space for myself than what is also available to you. And I also believe that you have a right to as much personal space as is also available to me.     Contrary to what is generally believed, Euramerican personal space doesn’t have anything to do with fixed distances between individuals. Euramerican personal space shrinks and expands like everyone else’s with the amount of space available. In a very crowded subway car, if someone demands that he or she have six inches of clear space all around, that person is probably mentally ill. In very crowded situations, Euramerican personal space normally shrinks down to nothing, like everyone else’s does.     On the other hand, in a slow-moving line leading up to a ticket window or an aeroplane doorway, physically pushing on the person ahead of you to try to make the line move faster will offend people from quite a few cultural groups in addition to Euramericans because it represents a profound lack of understanding. The speed of a line is determined by what happens at the window or doorway. Diminishing the personal space of the people waiting in the line accomplishes nothing. The cultures that take offence at unnecessary compression of personal space perhaps place a greater value on cognitive abilities than cultures which encourage unnecessary compression of personal space.     How much space is there around us right now? Take a look around. Can the space be more equally divided among all of us occupying the space? Remember that I don’t want any more space than you have. But I also don’t want less space than you have. If we are in a crowded situation and you can’t move back, then disregard the first sentence up there at the top. If, however, there is space around you that can be redistributed, please move back. If you don’t, I will move you back by gently shoving you with my hips and lower back. If that doesn’t work, I will move you back with the heel of my shoe on your shin. And if that doesn’t work, we’ll have to assume that you’re mentally ill.