Bang Head Here Mouse Mat

Note: side effects may include headache, blurred vision, lightheadedness, concussion, loss of consciousness, distracted co-workers, and other more serious conditions. If redness develops, discontinue use and seek medical attention immediately. Use of this product does not constitute actionable risk. May be habit forming. Seek professional help if you find that you are using this product more than once a day, despite the water-cooler jabbering about how inept you are at your job, how you should be replaced, why your corporation is wasting valuable office space and resources for an imbicile such as you who would not open a book, google for answers or perhaps pick up the phone and call someone but will instead bang their head against a mouspad that says "bang head here". Really - you need professional help if you're actually following the directions on that big blue dot! It's people like you who make it next to impossible to get "Go jump off a bridge" from being printed on those little candy hearts! How long have you been like this? Did you get this as a gift or did you actually plunk down the money and purchase it? Sakes alive, stop reading this and get back to work before someone sees you staring at your mousepad and decides to drop a dime and call for intervention!