Colonel Klinger, custard slinger

A long-standing favourite of the Dingaling Brothers Circus, Colonel Klinger is not merely an act, he is an event. Clad in his resplendent uniform and armed with a prodigious trunk, the Colonel presides over what devoted regulars proudly call "The Great Custard Spectacle." Whenever the circus returns to town, seasoned attendees arrive prepared, often dressed head to toe in waterproof gear, eager to stand within range of his famously colourful custard sprays. His aim is the stuff of legend. With uncanny precision, Colonel Klinger can deliver a quick, perfectly placed squirt of custard to an unsuspecting ear or eye from distances rumoured to exceed fifty metres. Even more astonishing is his mastery of trunk control: using subtle muscular twists, he can curve the arc of the custard mid-flight, splashing targets who believe themselves safely hidden behind barrels, props, or even other performers. One popular moment in the act sees a fellow circus member attempt to dodge behind cover, only for the Colonel to pause, narrow his eye, and send a graceful, looping spray that lands exactly where it was least expected, to roaring laughter from the crowd. Part performance, part participation, and entirely unforgettable, Colonel Klinger delights audiences with sweeping arcs of pastel custard, theatrical timing, and an expression that suggests he is enjoying the chaos just as much as the spectators. Families return year after year, newcomers are quickly initiated, and nobody leaves untouched. Messy, marvellous, and much beloved, Colonel Klinger remains living proof that some circus traditions are best experienced up close… and preferably washable.