She Endures By Tatum's Monet

I decided on the phrase She Endures because I know I'm not alone in knowing that sometimes in life, and in faith, the only thing we know or can do, is endure until God gets us safely to the other side of whatever storms we face. I was diagnosed with major depression after I woke up one day at 17 years old and found myself exhausted from fighting to find a reason to get through each day. I prayed... hard. I locked myself in my room and read the bible, sometimes for hours because I thought my depression was a product of my lacking faith. I'd even fallen on my face next to my mother in church crying to God; screaming "have mercy on me!" I begged him to restore the joy I'd once been known for. But that day, I didn't I had any fight left. So I woke up my mother and said, "I think you need to take me to the hospital, because I want to kill myself." The doctors put me on medication, and that helped for a while, then a few years later I fell into that pit of depression again. My medication was changed, but all of a sudden I started developing mood swings. Shortly after that I was diagnosed as having bipolar II disorder. I often felt alone, like something was wrong with me and I was a failure with nothing to offer anyone. Art became the one place I felt free of the vice like grip of depression. It was like I could use the paintbrush to purge all the poison depression was pumping into me. Then one day, while googling quotes and studying for a degree in psychology I saw, with devastating clarity that I was not alone in this dark place, but that millions of people were throwing their cries for help out to the vast abyss of the internet, because they needed to tell someone. They needed someone to see them, someone to really care and help them get through... just the same as I do. So I created She Endures as a call out to anyone that needs to know, I saw your cry for help! And I want you to know that my heart breaks for you too, and you are not alone. YOU MATTER!